Re: 我发现我的男朋友有同性恋倾向怎么办啊?

choi

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(A) http://mitbbs.com/mitbbs_article_t.php?board=WaterWorld&gid=665689&ftype=0

(B)
(1) The Making of the Sexes l  Fluid movement; How men and women are less different than you think. Economist, Dec 29, 2010.
http://www.economist.com/node/17797036?story_id=17797036&CFID=153691477&CFTOKEN=44360131
("And, when it comes to humans and sex, variety is infinite. Strongly masculine and strongly feminine genders mark each end of the spectrum. In between, every permutation is possible, and the same goes for sexual orientation.")

My comment:
(a) This article is a book review on Donald Pfaff, Man & Woman: An Inside Story. Oxford University Press USA (oct 2010).
http://www.oup.com/us/catalog/general/subject/Medicine/Neuroscience/?view=usa&ci=9780195388848
(b) As far as I could tell, medical schools  in Taiwan taught students
(i) that most people are in between, neither strictly heterosexual nor strictly homosexual;
(ii) humans rise above other mammals:
We do not have a rut 發情期, mating all year round.
We do not reply on smell or pheromones, to get excited;
We still can have sex if the sex organ (testes or ovaries) are removed from an adult; etc.
(c) The author is quoted as concluding

"On average, men and women score equally on mathematical and reading ability, for example. Reported differences in empathy, leadership and verbal fluency have all been exaggerated, according to Mr Pfaff. Where differences in these skills do exist, the causes may lie in the social context.

This is not surprising. This may be deemed conventional wisdom for the past several decades. And I has no idea why Larry Summer said women was inferior, costing his job as president of Harvard University.

(2) I will now turn to your dilemma.

(a) I am clueless why a society--or some people, to be precise--is so intolerant of gays. Before my contact with Chinese in the bbs, I had thought Chinese went easy on homosexuality, and that  its intolerance in the West resulted from Christianity (and ultimately Bible). However, this does not seem to be the case.

Note: China decriminalized homosexuality in 1997.
Homosexuality in China
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_China
(In 1997, the Chinese criminal code was revised to eliminate the vague crime of, "hooliganism")

(b) Most people lean both way, to a certain extent, It may depends on the circumstance. For instance, I was told in Taiwan in late 1970s that if a person, who deems him- or herself straight, is imprisoned or serves in military, that person might VOLUNTARILY engage in homosexuality.

(c) National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB). Indiana University, October 2010.
http://www.nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu/

This summary includes one finding: "While about 7% of adult women and 8% of men identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual, the proportion of individuals in the U.S. who have had same-gender sexual interactions at some point in their lives is higher.

To download, go to teh right column and click "Download Papers from the NSSHB  Download the Supplemental Issue of JSM Here."

JSM stands for Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The paper is pubslished as
Special Issue: Findings from National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB). Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University, October 2010. Volume 7, Issue Supplement s5, Pages 243-373.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jsm.2010.7.issue-s5/issuetoc

(d) My suggestion to you is as follows. Honesty is one of the most important attributes of a person, in my view. As a biologist by training, I only concern is sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), in any sexual relationship, be it heterosual or homosexual.

But you are different, as the girl friend. You make your own choice, as to whether to accept homosexual thoughts or acts of your lover.

Even seemingly harmless (to me) acts of cross-dressing (wearing underwear or clothes of opposite sex) in privacy, upset some girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses but are of no concern to some others. All kinds of things happen behind closed door. As long as they are honest and respectful to the parties involved and no violence is used, It is none of my business.
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